


Fear and Love

by Old1stStep (Simply8Steps)



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms
Genre: Arachnophobia, F/M, Gen, Novelization, Original Character Death(s), Spiders, Susan Kay's Phantom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 01:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10934265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply8Steps/pseuds/Old1stStep
Summary: An exploration of Christine's fear of spiders and based off of Susan Kay's novelization of the Phantom of the Opera story. Erik/Christine is implied and spoils for the novel's end for those that never read it.





	Fear and Love

**Author's Note:**

> It's based on Kay's Phantom, and its just a bit of experimenting I've done just to try all different aspects of writing... This is in first-person. (Originally posted on FF.net 08/23/2005.)

I've been thinking about Erik again and the time I had spent with Erik. I'm spending most of my time now thinking. However, tonight as I lie awake thinking, there are two persistent memories. Both connected to my former deepest fear… spiders.

To this day, I'll never forget the expression on Erik's face after he killed that second spider. In his eyes, I saw a mixture of emotions that I understand now, the despair, longing, and anger. Oh, I understand now, and it's too late! It is too late to explain. I realize now that he compared himself to those spiders. My careless, foolish words led him to believe that because of his face, I'll never be able to love him. It isn't true! And in the end, I proved it to be untrue, but I never did explain…

I still remember those simple, happy years I spent alone with my father. He wasn't always my only living relative however. My earliest memories from when I was a one or two-year-old showed that I had an aunt. She was a plain-looking spinster, my mother's older sister. She wasn't remarkable, but she was very kind. I had a tomboyish nature from being primarily raised by papa, but when she visited, I learned new things that I had never thought of before. Then when I was three, she disappeared.

The authorities were notified, of course, but this sort of thing was too common. Added onto that fact was that my aunt use to travel alone despite my father's pleas and many women who travel unescorted tend to disappear many times. We never expected to see her again… but we were wrong.

We waited months for news that never arrived. It was nine months later when an officer came to our house one night. I had just turned four. Behind him was a small covered cart. I listened from behind my father's overcoat as he talked to the officer. A hunter had found a corpse in the woods, and from what they could see, it had matched auntie's description. They, however, needed papa to identify her. Papa's face was pale when he turned to me and told me to go to my room. His voice was strained and tired. Even then, I didn't fully understand. I realized that auntie was dead, but they were just words in my head. There was no impact. I acted as if I obeyed, but I was curious.

I had always been too curious for my own good, so I hid behind a large cabinet as they carried something in covered by a gray cloth. The cloth slipped off when they settled it down.

I felt all of my limbs go limp and my eyes widen. I couldn't help it. There was little more than a skeleton left. It wasn't surprising really after nine months of lying dead in the wilderness. I tried to turn away, but my mind remained lock on the horror in front of me. Then I saw it, a small spider skittering along the exposed skull. I screamed then, a scream that seemed so remote to my numbed mind that I couldn't even respond to the warm embrace of my father. From that moment onwards, spiders became to me a reminder of the reality of death, and terror flooded me at any sight of them for the skull _always_ returned.

My constant dream of the giant sea spider only reminded me of this much, but when I took the plunge that night, even knowing that I could not swim, I had no regrets. My love for Erik had bypassed all physical boundaries, and all chains were broken. It even transgressed beyond death's door. Strangely, after that night, I never feared another spider again for so many years have passed, and I will soon join him. I have no more fear of death. All I have left to leave to this world now is a single red rose, a single rose that has grown from the depths of those blinding waters to glory in sunshine.

 

 

Fine.


End file.
